In the past 12 months and leading up to my 40th year of being on this planet, I've gone through a lot of self-evaluation which have come with a lot of changes. First big one was to lose weight - which was in big part to stop snoring - apparently it was bad. I also set a goal to reboot this website to have an outlet where I can post these thoughts and they don't get lost in a sea of endless scrolling. Finally, I got a new job - same company, but a totally different job.
Maybe it also has to do with the stigma around the number 40 that's making me look at life differently, I am not sure. I will definitely be discussing it with my counsellor this week - counselling, another big change.
Today Nikki and I celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world with her by my side... but have I always showed her this emotionally? No. I've never been one to be great at communicating my emotions. With anyone. It's not the way I grew up. I've suppressed emotions until my late 20s, very slowly started opening up and it took me years and years to get to where I am today. If you have to deal with me on a daily basis you'll probably agree I still have a long way to go.
Nikki and I have had our ups and downs but she has always stuck by my side. Through thick and thin, when push comes to shove, she knows exactly the right things to say to make you feel loved and appreciated - she has a natural gift that way. A way to make you feel comfortable, an ease in the way she is able to relate to you. This makes me want to continually better myself. Getting on this same level of communication and awareness - or at least in the door in the lobby - is the last change I've set out to conquer this year.
Happy 8th anniversary Nikki. I love you to the moon and back. Thank you for always being there. 💓